Wednesday, November 6, 2013

one of those non-artsy posts...

i am a fairly calm, serene, happy person.  with many things i try to see both sides.  there are exceptions, of course... and there are a couple of soapboxes i will stand on.    this is one.

last night i was scrolling through facebook, and i came across a thread started by an old high school classmate.  she's someone i don't know well, but she's always seemed quite pleasant. 

this thread turned my stomach and brought tears to my eyes. 

she was ranting about 'why on earth a huge fat girl would wear her hair in a bun'... 'doesn't she know how awful she looks?'

others chimed in and just totally ripped the bun wearing girl to shreds.  i actually gasped at the cruelty that was being spewed out...

my anger just bubbled over... i was angry and sad for a couple of reasons. 

one, who made this girl judge and jury over how someone else wears their hair? why does it even become a blip on their radar how someone else looks?  is it their business? does it affect them?

two, seeing two of the people involved that i thought were kind, nice women turn into 16 year old 'mean girls' made me sad.  realizing that not everyone is a nice person, that a mean girl in high school can grow up to be a mean adult. 

does it make the mean girl feel superior to denigrate another? why? all it does is make the mean one look like a petty, judgmental human being. 

and this was someone doing it privately without the bun woman even knowing (i'm assuming).  thank GOD the bun woman didn't know... she certainly didn't deserve that kind of cruel attack. 

unless her bun and her weight were injuring the mean girl in some way. *insert rolling eyes here*

it brought me back to high school when you could look around and see the popular, pretty girls making fun of girls they deemed 'less than'.  sometimes behind their backs, sometimes right to their face...

what character defect in a human makes them think that this behavior is acceptable?

their own self esteem is so low that in order to feel superior they have to tear someone else down?  how phucked up is that?

i posted about this on facebook and the response was overwhelming.  i knew i had to write more about this subject, and went back to the mean girl's wall to get the wording correct.  to my surprise the post was gone...   i'm guessing, (and hoping) that she saw my post and realized i was talking about her.  i'm hoping it made an impact on her.  and that perhaps she will think twice about thinking and talking badly about another woman's looks.  

i thought about private messaging her last night just to point out how unnecessarily mean she and her friends were being... and was about to do that today when i saw the thread was deleted.  so i'm guessing my message got across.

kindness and compassion go a long way.  put yourself in someone elses life for a moment before you try to tear them down.  you don't know what their journey is.  and it's not your job to tell them that they are not 'enough'.

because everyone is enough. 

*climbing back off my soapbox now* thanks for listening. 


  1. Well said! I know all about mean girls! Both in my life and the lives of my girls. Someone needs to stand up to them and rarely can it be the person they are ripping to shreds. So, well done, my friend!

  2. "their own self esteem is so low that in order to feel superior they have to tear someone else down?"

    You just hit the nail squarely on the head. And she let all of her facebooks friends know.

  3. Well said dear friend.... xoxo

  4. Thank goodness that part of my life is over....I am not interested in anyone's opinion of me, what I do, look like, act like, etc. My God loves me just the way I am even on my worst day. He is the only one I care to please these days

  5. Well said, Sandi. I don't think there is enough compassion shown in this world. Unfortunately some people need to be brought back into line and reminded of that. ~ Sharyn

  6. Beautifully said. I agree wholeheartedly. It's sad when people have to put other people down to make themselves feel better. But what an amazing example you are of speaking out about it, of being compassion and kindness and love. You are inspiring!!!