my big 'why'..

so i had my big aha moment a short while ago.

jeanne bessette, the artist, has been nudging me to explore my 'why' when it comes to me using recycled things to build/decorate my birdhouses. this is something that spans all of my world - i would prefer to buy/find old objects rather than buy new any day of the week. with the exception of underwear, toothbrushes and makeup, almost anything is fair game to me. my home and my wardrobe are filled with garage sale finds, antique store treasures and garbage picking.

when i discovered my love of decorating birdhouses, i found what i loved best about it was using repurposed items. things you wouldn't expect to see. i especially loved finding birdhouses at garage sales and i was even happier when i found my supplier, who builds them out of repurposed barn wood.

my 'one' brings me home junk auto parts he takes off of cars each day. i stalk the transmission shops for handouts of used springs and chains. i live for a box of old rusty hinges and screws. i find old junk jewelry at yard sales, and revamp it. or wear it... anything that catches my eye ends up adorning a birdhouse, as a piece of clothing or a knick knack on a shelf.

i like things to have history. to have a story. to have a SOUL. i am a listener. i would much rather listen to your story than to tell you mine. and just like a human being, each object has a story to tell. when i hold old items torn off houses, or that used to sit on somebody's grandmother's shelf, it talks to me.

what does that have to do with my why? it dawned on me as i was painting a birdhouse just now.
i think i am fixated on used, repurposed, recycled, upcycled, reused, reclaimed, restored things because that's exactly what i am.

a little over five years ago i went into recovery from alcoholism. that moment, the one that changed my life forever, is like a big line crossing my life. there was 'before' and 'after'. nothing about 'before' is with me today except my physical body. and that physical body is used... .repurposed.. .recycled.... upcycled... .reused....reclaimed and restored. restored to sanity.

and while my life is new, its vessel isn't. it has a story, and a soul. and it is the perfect example of restoration.