Thursday, March 21, 2013

serenity, courage, wisdom

today is the day i have waited for my entire life.  today is the day i get my tattoo.

i have wanted a tattoo for as long as I can remember.  because my husband wasn't a fan, and told me he didn't want me to get one, I listened.

but the call of the tattoo was strong, and I am my own woman now.  Approval or disapproval - it's my life, my body and my wish.  I am not doing it to hurt anyone, or as an act of rebellion.  I am doing it because it's a beautiful way of expressing myself.

At first, years ago, I thought I would get a dragonfly.  After all, they are my totem and I've got them all over my house in different forms.  But I could never decide on the right dragonfly... or the right colors... and the spot I chose on my body, my hip bone/abdomen, felt good but not perfect.

then i started being torn by images of a bird flying out of a birdcage.  Representing my need to fly and be my own person... that's when I realized that the perfect image had not come to me yet.  I knew I needed to be sure about what i was going to look at on my body for the next 100 years.

one day a few months ago I was scrolling through Pinterest looking at Recovery art and quotes and saw a photo of a girl's foot - with the words 'serenity, courage, wisdom' tattooed along her arch.

I've had that proverbial ton of bricks moment before, but this one slammed into me like... a proverbial ton of bricks.

i knew, and knew without a shadow of a doubt, that this was the tattoo, and the placement i wanted.

the words represent the most important prayer in my recovery, the Serenity Prayer.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,  courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

The location... one of our AA slogans has to do with 'look down at your feet - they are exactly where they are supposed to be'.  Which means that nothing happens by accident.  I am where I am right now because that's where my higher power has put me... He certainly knows better than I do where I need to be.

It is 8:30am... and at 11:00am I will be in the tattoo artist's chair.  I will be alone.  But I will have my higher power, and all the people that support me, and all the people that have listened to my hopes and dreams for many years, in my heart.

I will come back and add photos when I get home.  I had to write the blog post now because I knew it would be hard to do when I was looking at my foot all afternoon.  :-)

Ok it's 1:15 - I'm HOME and here it is... I tear up when I look at it - this is so huge for me... and i love it with all my heart.


  1. Can't wait to see. Thanks for sharing why you are doing this!! I am not a fan of tatoos...but obviously this means the world to you!! And I can see that and I support you and am sooo happy for you:)

  2. It makes ME tear up because I know how much you wanted it, because it is so SO meaningful for YOU, because it is stunning, because of your cute foot, hee hee, and mostly because it looks like it was extremely well done! Yay!!!!

  3. I have tears in my eyes! I love it so much. <3 <3 <3

  4. It is so perfect for you! I have tears too... dang you! :) my mascara is not waterproof today :)

  5. Oh How absolutely beautiful this is, & the message even more. I Love what you said about looking down at your feet, they are where they are supposed to be. Also, whom ever did the script is an artist for sure, it's just beautiful Sandi. I am truly happy for you, & Thanx for sharing it & the message behind it. You're such an inspiration to me. Peace & Love from one Brave girl to another.